Tips to calm yourself to avoid turning into the wild parent with your own tantrums
Even the most behaved child has a moment (or several million) and they unleash their inner wild child during a tantrum but that doesn’t mean it’s time to wear the wild parent hat. I still consider myself a newbie parent in so many ways and each day a new lesson is taught by my daughter. That’s right, my little keiki girl is my teacher even during tantrums.
Between sunrise and sunset we’re learning together through beautiful moments and the less than stellar roller coaster tantrums. I admit I’ve been a rider on that roller coaster and have turned into the wild parent in reaction to my wild child. To keep my sanity during this stage I realize I can’t let the wild child turn me into the wild parent. It’s draining, unhealthy and it doesn’t help the situation. I’m not saying I just roll over and ignore the tantrums, instead I accept they are part of her growth.
Early cry fest days with papa. Notice he’s smiling and calm as she belts out her frustration.
I’ve adopted a few ways to tame myself and ultimately my daughter because I’ve seen firsthand the result of a calm mama on a wild child. She responds to my mood and energy…I must be present and calm to tame all the wildness. I follow the lead of proud papa Mark because he is always a beckon of calm even during toddler meltdown.
Take care of yourself – whatever that means to you. A bubble bath, beach walk, fancy pedicure or indulging in chocolate and wine – or better yet, enjoy it all because you deserve it. After a long day of taming my wild child there’s nothing better than escaping to a hot shower and sitting down to my favorite TV show or getting lost in my magazines. I completely tune out and recharge myself in the process.
Give yourself permission to just be still. It’s ok to pause from being a mom, being a significant other and everything in between to just be still and hear yourself. I swear by yoga and am slowly getting into meditation and have found the calmness come over me during the shortest moment of stillness. Do absolutely nothing but listen to yourself. What do you need? What is your soul saying right this moment? These are things I’m finally asking myself and so grateful I give myself the time to do it. Escape to your happy place or on that airplane to paradise!
Take a mental break from tantrums and put yourself on a plane to paradise!
Slow down the pace – are you spending your days rushing from one errand or activity to the next? I have been there many many times but my ACL knee surgery derailed the fast train and put me on the slow train. It’s probably one of the best things that’s happened to me as a parent. I still have my type A tendencies but with a bum knee and a two year-old toddler I’ve drastically modified our weekend pace. We accomplish the must do items and then we immediately embrace island time. We lounge, simple as that. Racing around with a small child in tow is just not fun and far from relaxing.
Embrace dirt or in my house the sand. Go ahead and skip the endless amount of household chores on days when you’re beat from taming the wild child. Floors stay clean for mere minutes with child nearby, so give yourself a free pass for a little mess.
Bottom line – don’t stress yourself out! Children feed off our energy so why not project your inner calm to reign in their wild child moments.
It can be hard not to overreact when a child is going nuts! But, I’ve seen more rotten displays from parents than from kiddos in public. The kids have a much better excuse!
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I’ve noticed lately it’s usually a parent’s reaction that draws the attention and is the real scene vs the wailing kid…parents need calming reminders too 🙂 Thanks for dropping by!