(Especially when you really really want to)
I think I’m on the path to perfecting the word no. As I steer my sassy daughter away from overuse of the word, I’m suddenly embracing it and loving the results. More freedom, less pressure and stress. Ditch the obligations because really do you want someone at your party that felt ‘obligated’ to be there. I sure don’t want that. So why do that to them? I’m learning to say no and politely decline. Being polite is the key.
Don’t over explain
Saying no shouldn’t include a ramble about all the reasons and other commitments causing the invitation decline. When I start to verbalize a laundry list of reasons I channel my boyfriend who would simply say no I can’t today. Period. Yes that’s really it.
I don’t know about you but when I start rattling the reasons I find myself in a fast decline down the rabbit hole. I’ve realized the only reason I give an explanation is to make myself feel better for saying no when really all I’m doing is making every item on that list more important than the other person.
Be honest, direct and sweet. Try it and see how it goes the next time you really want to say no and feel yourself being pulled to yes or rambling about your to do list – channel a man’s way of declining and see how it works.
Politely decline without guilt
As women we tend to feel guilty after saying no, there is a true reason behind your no and you should own it without guilt. I recently said no to an afternoon BBQ with friends. I adore these friends but I said no because I knew I was over committing on that day. I knew if I went to the BBQ it meant I’d be further exhausted and cranky along with my daughter by the evening and possibly next morning. Instead of putting ourselves into that mode, I politely declined without guilt. I replaced potential guilt with relaxation and recharging.
Saying no to a friend doesn’t mean I don’t care or appreciate the invitation or their friendship. It just means I know my limits. A true friend will understand when you say no thank you and won’t go into over analyzing mode or stop future invitations.
Enjoy your freedom without the guilt. Escape into a book, go on a nature walk or just be still. Over commitment will never recharge your mind, body and soul. Just know your limits.